Bad JPJ test!!!

wake up at 5am..usualy i cnt eat at tat early bt i go eat sweet..make me vomit..tutor arrive my home at 5.40am..at tat time, the sun havent come out..1st time i drive in the dark..then go fetch a boy at kolombong..tutor say let him try drive ask me 2 sit at the back..he drive very slow..macam only hv 10km/j..tutor keep ask him tekan minyak..arrive skul, tutor let him practise 1st..he go take the mineral water 4 JPJ 4 us 2 drink..he say 'early bird hv worm 2 eat'..haha..tat boy seem worst than me bt at last, he pass the test and i fail..very swt..i gt no.44..tats very far..we wait at the bus stop to wait for our turn 2 test naik bukit..i wanna hangus oled..the sun very hot..my ear very pain can feel it become red oled..3-4 ppl infront of me fail at bukit..i very scare..when my turn, i very nervous..the cluth gt a bit problem..very loose..i oled tekan minyak and let go the cluth..i let go many bt stil nt enough..dunno hw..then i jz try my luck..i put down the brake..then the car fall down..i baru fall down then the examiner terus smile till very happy and ask me to stop..shit la..i realy wanna try agn bt thr is no 2nd chance..i terus feel very down and very dissapointed..i wait for tis test wait 4 a month..then it jz a few second and everything...(don noe hw to mention)...i taught i fail everything..when i call tutor, he say stil hv a test..tats drive at road..i taught if fail 1 then fail everything..swt..when my turn to test drive at road, i oled check all the things..bt the examiner didnt saw me check mirror..he ask me y didnt check back mirror n side mirror..swt..he didnt pay attention..the siren light very loud and hv open malay song..make me cnt hear the sound when tats the time 2 chg gear..i taught gear 3 can drive til 40km/j...cz usualy i hear the sound..i nt so know which gear can drive til hw many km/j..i very sad..my heartbroken..angry 2 myself..dissapointed..both of my sis pun pass at the 1st time bt y i cnt..nw nid 2 retake..nid wait til april..aiz..nid wait agn..hope the nex test is nex week..1 april..i cnt wait anymore..hope tis time realy can pass..nid to pay RM110 for the retake test..so expensive..hope dad wil help me pay..nw i gt a bit 'kung ju zhen' for jpj test oled..i wanna give up bt i hv 2 face it...i nt dare 2 face it cz i scare fail..if fail nid 2 pay 4 another RM110..i'm broke..i only hv problem at bukit..i don hv confident..i nid 2 be brave and strong..2day i 1st time go institusi sinaran..